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NegativeNative

by NegativeNative

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1.
Going through the motions Almost 4 years later Locked in a room Yet it feels much safer Doing what I'm told is all I know Doing what I'm asked is all I'll show Apologies make their way through Just trying to be polite Now I am the weaker view The only one in sight Doing what I'm told is all I know Doing what I'm asked is all I'll show To question everything is to rely on what you know but still it's a path I never wanted to take and said I'd never go. No, my words dont mean a thing. Like they really fucking should. I said I never would. Back into a place where nothing changes. My intentions are what led me here. Somethings to always find. The things I fear Am I a hypocrite just like the rest. I'm following the same steps. Buried in my own mistakes, while the past is catching up. But I cant seem to grasp. One step forward, two steps back One step forward, two steps back. Almost 4 years later. Its everywhere I look. faces. faces. They're in the walls. Its everywhere I look. The faces in the walls. I'm trying to run away. But now I'm feeling small. But I cant help but stare. So I just sit around.
2.
Pretend 03:12
Every now and again The ghosts stop pretending They've gone to the nowhere but we seem to be the everything The pavement you walk on You started floating to the sun They've kept you down Said you were not for that route But clouds began to fill your mind You know what you've wanted to find Be kind. And the ghosts have taken flight The sun is too bright. Why? You've walked through the doorway The wooden cracks have begun to say They said don't fall away. Dont fall away And they say, they say. A dream state the body is in And the flesh and bone will win What a realistic way you put it Tell me why I believe you. You told the truth yet your spirit hasn't let you tell it what to do. Blinded by this fact Describe the ways youd like him to act And reaction, it takes control. Like the insects that poison your soul. Feels like this home It isn't ours. We just live here. No days No new ways It's the same old case.
3.
One more question The only one I put a face to I see myself in you Catch me back and forth To find them at the very source What I would give What I would do To just bullshit with you Just one more Inside the war This place turned into the battlefield This place isn't real The casualties that washed away The horror crashed down on those who stayed A thought that crossed our mind and left It hits close to my home Knocking down the doors, breaking every window How many more have to get taken before we signal As the evil looks you directly in the eyes Safety exists. Believe in the lies As I look out in disgust Ask us the question Just one more question.
4.
At their expense you step down And consequence sneaks up Like a snake trying to run home It comes through the back door. The back of your head shakes and what for, what for? A liar at best. The pressure in your chest bursts through the way everyone says. A liar at best everyone says. The whispers being heard. A sense of unsure, we're unsure We'd like to know but if that's so. Why have we run so fast and said no? Why do we run? Why have I run so fast and said no? Why do I run? Why do I run? Running out of things to say. I've been chasing love. Reading into the things being said. Being the first to shove. And our self pity is eating us up. But we cant show it or let be seen. Sometimes we just gotta say the things we mean. We feel bitter. I want more. A liar at best is still knocking at my back door and what for? What for? What? I keep to myself. I bottle things up. Eating my words is easier than speaking up. Learning to grow up inside a home, in which I was never taught. "Figure it out alone." The anger soaks my bones. Is it just Male testosterone or insecurities of my own? I isolate myself. No matter how happy this place might be. And I cant see. I laugh at the floor. It's not good enough. And i find a way to make this about me. I laugh at the floor. I'm not good enough. And I'm too selfish to see. I'm too selfish to see the things I made but you are my escape, a place to keep me safe and I just like your attention. But I'm done asking questions. To my pleasant surprise, I'm still laughing at the floor.
5.
Shut Eyed 07:49
I closed my eyes to see something great. The sun can barely pierce the clouds and a single beam shows through the rubble. And I can hardly stand the mumble. Under the rain. It stands under a shade. We came through and robbed the town, took everything for ourselves. We remain the same. But not the same you knew before. Grasp tight. We'll lose each other. Lets keep what we've lost. I'll keep my hands off of my eyes. My own will see the light. I'll look up one day, see you in the sky. Wondering if I was the reason you got stuck up there. High in the sky. I closed my eyes to see what's there. I saw a stranger across the hall. To never know another's faults. I want to believe that everyone is playing along. But there's still a great big wall When appearances are so high Blissful is the prize. We're losing the touch It happened abrupt When things come to an end. 2x -To capture Appear Blank skin faces no mirrors. It's all superficial The ways you keep yourselves in line I can see that you're really trying Tell me what they're hiding. Why are they hiding? You've always been talking. Seems like you love the sound of your own voice I know they all love it. They're all just a bunch of porcelain toys. It's all an empty shell Feel the emptiness The propped walls have started to break Crumbling down. Create the mess But you break like glass You're just an empty shell I feel your emptiness Your propped walls have started to break You're crumbling down. You created your mess Ambiguous, the way things act The way you act

credits

released July 4, 2018

Jason Enriquez (Silly Strings 2)
Cristien Fernandez (VoxBox)
Neftali Martinez (Beats)
Alex Morales (Silly Strings 1)
Miko Prado (Deeper Silly Strings)

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NegativeNative Los Angeles, California

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